Dawn Drabble

[aurey09]

Title: I Broke it
Author: Aurey09
Character: Dawn
Timeline: The Gift 
Number: 14/100 


I ‘remember’ Willow giving me a magicians kit for my 11th Birthday and that when I tried out one of the tricks I broke Buffy’s watch and couldn’t put it back together. Buffy yelled and mom rescued me from her. That none of that ever happened is the real illusion.

I wonder how I changed things? Did mom have another child that I replaced? Did they take mom’s life for mine? She got sick when I appeared. And now Buffy’s dead because of me.

I want the monks to take the spell back. I want to fix what I broke.



Yay! I finally wrote something, only a drabble but I'm still recovering from the concrit last week. I'm not sure about this drabble but I'm posting it anyway.  

Comments

[boy-named-susie.livejournal.com]

Really really *really* liked this. Great insight into Dawn.

"That none of that ever happened is the real illusion." Absolutely perfect line.

[myfeetshowit.livejournal.com]

You captured Dawn's trauma to a tee.

[scarlettlily.livejournal.com]

Wow that was a great look into Dawn, I never thought of it that way. Great job.

[hesadevil.livejournal.com]

Drabbles may be short but they are by no means easy to do effectively. This does all that a drabble should do; captures a moment, an emotion and examines its complexity in a few words. You take us on Dawn's journey, from the opening premise of manufactured memories through those memories to her harrowing, desperate conclusion, with great pacing.

The rhythm of the writing is perfect; for example the long pause created by the full stop before the killer line "That none of that ever happened is the real illusion".

You might replace the full stop with a question mark on "I wonder how I changed things." before posting it to gen_storyteller

Well done and welcome back.

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

That's a *great* drabble. Wonderful insight into what's going on in Dawn's mind.

[athenamuze.livejournal.com]

Yes, very nice work here!

Here from buffyversetop5

[yourlibrarian]

Poor Dawn.

[goodbyebird]

Poor, traumatized Dawn. So sad she doesn't have more fans. She's actually risen to one of my favorites over time though. I think the deal there is that much of Dawn is only implied, so people kinda have to look deeper themselves. Not lacking in the emotional trauma though.

Does give us more to poke into though ;) Great drabble!

Awesome Drabble

[(Anonymous)]

I've read a bunch of your drabbles (from the recommendation on a recent post on BuffyverseTop5) and you have a talent for those last lines. They really get you right here *points to heart*, especially the last sentence of this one, so poignant.
~BBtLHelen