Dawn Drabble

[aurey09]

Title: I Broke it
Author: Aurey09
Character: Dawn
Timeline: The Gift 
Number: 14/100 


I ‘remember’ Willow giving me a magicians kit for my 11th Birthday and that when I tried out one of the tricks I broke Buffy’s watch and couldn’t put it back together. Buffy yelled and mom rescued me from her. That none of that ever happened is the real illusion.

I wonder how I changed things? Did mom have another child that I replaced? Did they take mom’s life for mine? She got sick when I appeared. And now Buffy’s dead because of me.

I want the monks to take the spell back. I want to fix what I broke.



Yay! I finally wrote something, only a drabble but I'm still recovering from the concrit last week. I'm not sure about this drabble but I'm posting it anyway.  

Comments

[boy-named-susie.livejournal.com]

Really really *really* liked this. Great insight into Dawn.

"That none of that ever happened is the real illusion." Absolutely perfect line.

[aurey09.livejournal.com]

Thanks for pointing out that line, it's the only one that stayed through all my many edits of the drabble.

[myfeetshowit.livejournal.com]

You captured Dawn's trauma to a tee.

[aurey09.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

I think out of all the drabbles I’ve written this is the one that I felt the most emotional about while writing it.

[scarlettlily.livejournal.com]

Wow that was a great look into Dawn, I never thought of it that way. Great job.

[aurey09.livejournal.com]

:-) When I'm writing for a character I tend to write things I've not thought about before, at least on a conscious level.

[hesadevil.livejournal.com]

Drabbles may be short but they are by no means easy to do effectively. This does all that a drabble should do; captures a moment, an emotion and examines its complexity in a few words. You take us on Dawn's journey, from the opening premise of manufactured memories through those memories to her harrowing, desperate conclusion, with great pacing.

The rhythm of the writing is perfect; for example the long pause created by the full stop before the killer line "That none of that ever happened is the real illusion".

You might replace the full stop with a question mark on "I wonder how I changed things." before posting it to gen_storyteller

Well done and welcome back.

[aurey09.livejournal.com]

I'm not just being humble when I said I wasn't sure about this drabble because there have been ones that I felt were good.

I felt really emotional when I was writing this one and was hoping I didn't come off as melodramtic. But, I felt that I understood Dawn finding out that everything you thought wasn't true.

Anyway, thank you I feel great to be back.

[hesadevil.livejournal.com]

And I'm not just massaging your bruised writer's ego when I describe this drabble as a perfect execution of the craft of drabbling.

The fact that you felt emotional when writing it only adds to my admiration of the piece. You didn't let 'sentiment' turn into 'sentimental'.

[aurey09.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm glad I stayed away from sentimentality, it's one of those things that makes me cringe when ever I see a lot of it. There’s something that always seems false to me about it.

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

That's a *great* drabble. Wonderful insight into what's going on in Dawn's mind.

[aurey09.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I felt quite emotional when I was writing this. I always wanted to know more about how Dawn felt about her being the key.

[athenamuze.livejournal.com]

Yes, very nice work here!

[aurey09.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Hehehe this is what made me want to write episode 10 of BBtL. :D

Here from buffyversetop5

[yourlibrarian]

Poor Dawn.

Re: Here from buffyversetop5

[aurey09.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I always feel sorry for her.

[goodbyebird]

Poor, traumatized Dawn. So sad she doesn't have more fans. She's actually risen to one of my favorites over time though. I think the deal there is that much of Dawn is only implied, so people kinda have to look deeper themselves. Not lacking in the emotional trauma though.

Does give us more to poke into though ;) Great drabble!

[aurey09.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've always found the Dawn hate a bit too much. I've never really disliked her as a characters, but the more I written for her, the more I've come to appreciate her.

Awesome Drabble

[(Anonymous)]

I've read a bunch of your drabbles (from the recommendation on a recent post on BuffyverseTop5) and you have a talent for those last lines. They really get you right here *points to heart*, especially the last sentence of this one, so poignant.
~BBtLHelen

Re: Awesome Drabble

[aurey09.livejournal.com]

Thanks for going back and reading some of my drabbles. I haven't done any recently but hopefully 2008 will bring some more, once I've got some BBtL done. ;)